Yesterday was an emotional day for me. All through the day, my emotions swung back and forth, like a steady pendulum on a classic grandfather's clock. From one extreme to another, I was filled with tears of joy, tears of sorrow and sadness and thankfully back to tears of great joy and gratefulness. Three gut wrenching episodes that I don't think I can share with you. Well, at least not today. That would be like asking for trouble. If I cried anymore, I would be drowning in the proverbial "river of tears". But one story touched my heart so much, well, I would be a fool not to share the beauty of it.
Most of you know, we lost our beloved Britt at seventeen, almost three years ago. (I sit amazed that so much time has past...and the Lord has allowed me to keep my sanity. God is so good!) When I found out that she had secondary leukemia after struggling with neuroblastoma, I was devastated. But when you are in the battle against cancer, you can't give up. You continue to press on ahead, searching for every little victory.
As a result, we had to abandon her treatment at Memorial Sloan Kettering in NY and start the transplant process all over again at Duke University Hospital. Before we departed for Duke, our immediate family was tested to see if we were a match. Sadly, none of us were. God had other plans.
Our church family led many bone marrow drives throughout the community with the National Marrow Donor Program (NMDP). Because of their love for Brittany and their love for us, they too, gave blood to see if they were a match. All were entered in the Bone Marrow Registry along with all the other volunteers who gave their blood, their time and their prayers.
I didn't think much of it when a church member said they were contacted by the Registry the latter part of last year. Most families who encounter cancer know, that even if you get "a hit" from the registry so many things can go wrong. So although you are hopeful and prayerful, you know that the excitement may not last long.
So I put it out of my mind and completely forgot about it. Until yesterday.
Yesterday, the spouse of that church member called and we were talking about the rest of our summer plans, family and the onset of a new school year. Then on the turn of a dime, she begin to share how her husband was preparing to go through the transplant process for a young man that they did not know. What?
As she shared all the medical procedures he had endured, I found myself filling in medical details that she didn't know and was amazed how it all came back to me. But the shock of it didn't hit me until she began to share a recent incident.
As she spoke, she told how her husband had gone through all preliminary testing. They had made several trips to the hospital where the young man was waiting for the necessary transplant. Nurses were coming to the house to take blood and to continue his necessary workup on several occasions. He had begun his series of Filgrastim (G-CSF), a medication that helps you build up your white blood cells) and was now preparing for the actual harvest of not only stems cells BUT bone marrow too. He was such of a great candidate that he had received another hit on the registry as well.
He is doing WHAT? Preparing to give bone marrow and stem cells?!
I was in a state of shock! They had been going through all this and I didn't have a clue. How could I have forgotten that he had been contacted by the NMDP registry?
Because he was such of an enigma, the nurse at the hospital sat down with them and asked him about his history. She wanted to know who was this young man who had two hits on the bone marrow registry and just how did he get on it? It was at that point that the couple began to share Brittany's story and the nurse asked, "well, how is she doing?" They shared of Britt's passing and said the inquisitive nurse just cried.
Well, although the dear wife of this man continued talking, it was then that I just lost it!!!
I sobbed in the phone and told her that I had to go. Softly, breaking through my muffled sobs, she quietly said, "we love you, Rev. Mel."
After I hug up the phone, the shock of what was just shared begin to answer some of the questions that every mother of a dead child has locked away in her spirit. "Why?"
We often ask God why when bad things happen to us. We often question His plan, His purpose for our lives. But I often thought about Britt's death being in vain. Why did she have to go through what she did? As a mother, no matter who shared a testimony about how she touched their lives, I still didn't find peace when it came to why God allowed her to die.
But as I listen to this story, I realize that the Lord was gently telling me that her life had more impact than I could ever imagine. Because of her illness, a young family will be blessed to have options.
Here is a young man, touched by Britt's sickness and her struggle, who selflessly gave of himself to help save another. ( The story sounds familiar....doesn't it?) Now we have a twenty year old man who will probably beat the enemy of cancer, because this man decided to sacrifice his time to be a blessing and to give the gift of life.
Well, I tell you, I just sobbed as the Holy Spirit ministered to me. For a moment the spirit of illumination came over me and allowed me to see just how precious my baby girl's life was as was her fight with cancer. It was all for a purpose. More importantly, it was all for His (Christ's)glory.
My tears flowed as I reconciled the fact that Britt went through all that she did because it had a purpose. Someone (that we don't even know) will have an abundant, prosperous life because a friend said yes to bone marrow donation. Britt's struggle opened up a door that would touch the heart of a man. He allowed himself to be tested and God, in His infinite wisdom, allowed him to be a near perfect match.
He is a near perfect match! How awesome is that?! What an awesome gift from God. Just imagine how the young patient's family must be feeling. On next week, this young man will get the blessing of a lifetime. I know that this family's heart is filled with unspeakable joy and gratitude.
And so is mine. So I can't clost this blog without making the appeal. Be a donor! Contact the National Marrow Donor Program TODAY and get tested. You could save a life and give a blessing of a lifetime.
For more information contact NMDP at www.marrow.org.
Why Big Shoes?
Because each day God requires us to walk in obedience, no matter how hard or long the journey. We need to walk in those shoes with boldness, confidence and courage. Everyone needs spiritual "Big Shoes" that will take them to new levels of spiritual impartation and revelation. I've learned, the hardest thing is we need the strength to put them on each day. And that takes faith. Who wants to walk in "Big Shoes" when you have been hurt or betrayed? Who has the courage to walk in "Big Shoes" when fear has your spirit gripped so tight you refuse to trust God to take you through your darkest days? The amazing thing is when you put on those "Big Shoes", the struggle doesn't seem so hard. God and His Holy Spirit carries you through the toughest journeys - even when you think you are walking alone. As you walk, the heaviness of the struggle doesn't seem to weigh you down as much. You force yourself to take one step at a time, pressing, pushing your way through every obstacle that rises up against you.
There is no need to try to do it all yourself when God is there to lead you to still waters and those luscious green pastures. No, walking in Big Shoes, simply means you have the courage to shout out to God, "I can't do this without you". Before you know it, you are at the place He wants you to be, encouraged, empowered, enabled to move forward in faith, confidence and trust.
There is no need to try to do it all yourself when God is there to lead you to still waters and those luscious green pastures. No, walking in Big Shoes, simply means you have the courage to shout out to God, "I can't do this without you". Before you know it, you are at the place He wants you to be, encouraged, empowered, enabled to move forward in faith, confidence and trust.
