Moving Forward

It is amazing when God pushes you in the back and tells you to move on. He has been pushing really hard in my life recently. As I face a new day, I see my to-do list and immediately I am overwhelmed because I am a master procrastinator. I view everything that needs to get done in my life and I often want to put my head under a blanket and hide. But God said...not so.


I recently shared with some dear friends, that I haven't even grieved my father's passing. We won't even mention that Britt continues to drop in my spirit and the memories continue to flood my heart and my mind. I have two book proposals that need tweaking; I have a few church ministries to oversee; a summer schedule that I need to coordinate with my boys and some day trips that I need to muster up for me and my Mom. Did I forget to mention that my bedroom needs cleaning and my office is a disaster? We will just add them to the list...


But God reminded me that I have to move forward. Stop dwelling on the to-do list that never quite gets done. I need to wake up each morning with a plan and execute it with the tenacity and courage. By doing so, it will push me toward my daily goals as I force those areas of doubt and being overburdened to be placed under my feet.


Moving forward takes that strength to let some things go. If I need to I'll hire some folk to help. I'll do those things that only I can do...like spend some precious moments with my 87 year old Mom.


Moving forward will force me to choose those things that are doable and drop those things that waste my time. (I do have a sixteen year old and a ten year old that can help with the bedroom clean up. There is no need to stress over that...)


God, in His awesomeness, will help me if I let him. He will direct me to those paths that He wants me to travel. He will equip me with whatever I need when I get to where he wants me to go.


Moving forward means leaving some things (and some people) behind even when you see them as a crutch that you have leaned on for awhile. Let those things (and/or people) go and move forward with faith.


Scripture states that I need to press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. That alone seems overwhelming. But that is exactly what I am going to do. Moving forward, placing one foot in front of the other, standing in faith and covered in prayer.


But first, I need to clean up my office...

Just A Few Simple Words...

My Dad died three weeks ago. It was the strangest thing. I took him to the hospital, only because I was concerned about his not eating. He had lost interest in food and it was a struggle to get him to eat like he should. But each day, we would coax him to eat a little of this and a little of that. I was so concerned that I took him to the doctor.

"We have to get you to eat, Mr. Powell", the doctor shouted since Dad refused to wear his hearing aids. So in the hospital he went, only to be told that he was fine, just old. He charmed the nurses with his wit and his songs. He sang for everyone who was willing to listen.

Dad came home and began to sleep - all day and all night. I know that it was a sign. But a sign that I REFUSED to accept.

Then Dad started to wet through his clothes. Another sign...but I pretended that it was just another accident.

Then Dad decided that he not only wanted to sleep all the time but now he refused to walk.

Another sign, but my thought was, the man is 91 and if he is tired - he is tired.

But when he didn't get up from his nap and I had to spoon feed him his dinner well, I just thought he was recouperating from the UTI that they found while we were in the hospital.

But God had other plans. My Dad was dying...

Unlike the days and months before, my Dad laid down, went to sleep and woke up in glory.

The strangest thing was, grief didn't overwhelm me this time. I miss him, yes, but my Dad had a full life of baseball, women, friendship, laughter and song. And at age 70, he accepted the Lord as his personal Savior. What more could you have asked for?

So there was acceptance on my part. My Dad was gone after a life that was later filled with a intense love for the Word of God, gospel music and family.

BUT all I could remember were just a few simple words that he graced my life with over my 47 years.

Words like, "I love you", "you're just the sweetest thing" "you're so sweet" and "don't worry about me cause when I leave here, I'm going to be with the Lord". These words he said to me at least once a day for as long as I can remember.

These precious words will keep me as I try to take care of my greiving mother. A woman who loved in spite of betrayal and heartbreak. A woman who stood by her man's side, when she should have divorced him. A woman who is the classic example of a love that is never ending, patient and kind.

Since he passed she wears his watch. When she's not wearing it, she is holding it close. A keepsake, a gentle reminder of a love that stood the test of time of 58 years.

When I will think of him in the days to come, other words will spring to mind. Words like baseball, robin, wallet and hat. These four words came to be such a part of my Dad's daily existence; well, without them, he wouldn't be Dad.

So as we closed the coffin that clear Friday in May, I placed his wallet and his hat in with him. His coffin was adorned with a red breasted robin that was embroidered on the casket's sheath. The robin will always be his moniker, like the song he sung faithfully in the church. It is commonly known as "The Robin Song". And will always be remembered as my Dad's song from hundreds of people that heard him perform it.

These a just a few simple words that will sustain me as I face each day without my Dad. In spite of everything, he loved me. In spite of everything else, he cherished me. For that, I will always be grateful.

Another four words spring to my mind as I close out this post:

I Love You, Daddy.

Ulus Powell May 29, 1917 - May 16, 2009