He did it. I can't believe it but he finally did it. My son, on the first try, passed the exam for his driver's permit. He didn't miss any on the sign test and just a few on the exam. I'm proud but now he's going to expect to drive everyday. I hate to tell him that driving is a priviledge that is earned. It is not an entitlement. Although, we could use another driver as busy as our schedules are.
But do you know what is amazing? He studied for the driver's exam and I mean studied. He really wants to drive. Isn't it amazing how much our kids put into a task, when it benefits them?
I just wish he would embrace homework that way. At fifteen, he can't see the value or the benefit of homework or studying hard. Being a smart kid, he feels that if he does enough to get by, that should be sufficient. Well, I think I already wrote about Mommy's School. Well, school commences this Thursday. We are spending the afternoon in the library preparing for the PSAT. He doesn't feel like it is needed. "Isn't it a test that sees how much I know?" "It doesn't matter about that test. I don't need it." All lame excuses for not wanting to take studying seriously. (I've got a lot of work to do!)
With the death of their sister, I have been lenient to the point that I have not challenged their intellect. I don't know... both boys are very intelligent. They have done well. But I didn't push the homework like I should. Both boys are honor roll students so I didn't feel like they needed the challenge. I felt that they needed time to adjust, recover and deal with the loss. (Let's be honest, I needed to deal with the loss and grieve myself. ) So I didn't push it. Well, it has been nearly 21 months since Britt's death and my boys are getting older. If I don't start training them now, it is going to be very difficult to do it in the future. (And no, it is not too late for my fifteen year old. Difficult, maybe. Too late, never.)
My fifteen old now looks at me like I am crazy because now I am starting to push those buttons. I expect him to deliver. It is very challenging but I know the value of taking school seriously. He will go far if he does well. It is my responsiblity to make sure that he does everything he needs to do, to be prepared and focused. So I'm ready for the challenge. And he will be too.
But would someone PLEASE pray for me?! Homework now includes driving practice.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
A Bona Fide Member of the Sandwich Generation
The sandwich generation has been defined as those adults who are raising kids and taking care of their elderly parents all at the same time. Well, that is definitely me. These last few weeks have been tough. I've been busy working on our condensed Women's Season at our church. My husband celebrated his 51st birthday on the 4th. Some members of the church threw him a beautiful celebration with a sit down dinner and we were impressed. It was a wonderful church event. The family party is this weekend. My husband's siblings will be in town. It will be a great weekend, filled with great food (I can't wait!), fellowship and family fun.
My boys are back in school. I'm relieved but worried, because this is the season that I must really begin my serious training sessions for my 15 year old. (I'm way behind in this department). He's brilliant, but lazy and hates to read. Well, he's going to start "Mommy's School" since he never seems to have home work. I know that it will be a major transition for him. Both boys treat our home like a five star resort. They each have their favorite space and life is just wonderful. My fifteen year old is on the computer, wishing for his dream car. I've seen every model imaginable and I just have to sigh and smile. I don't know where he got the idea that we were going to buy him a $30,000-$40,000 luxury sports car. I know, I know. The Driver's Ed class was passed and now he's just waiting for Mommy to take him to the DMV. Then we have to get the car. I want to tell him so bad, "until we find you a nice used model, you'll be driving Mommy's minivan". He'll be heartbroken but he's got to learn that if he wants nice things he going to have to work for them. And working to me, is doing things around the house without being asked. Now that is going to be the struggle. We've decided to get him a small "hooptee". This is synonymous to a seven to ten year old car with about 45,000 miles on it. Like I said, he will be heartbroken but he will get over it. He's bargaining and bartering. "I'll work and get the down payment", he suggests. I just laugh. It's hard for him to vacuum without him justifying why he doesn't want to do it right now. "If you get me my car, then I will..." Well the list goes on and on. He'll do a lot of things for the car. And he wants to get a job where you actually have to work. (Does he think, I think he is going to actually do that ?) I just want him to do things because I have asked him to. You know, obedience and submission. Hence, Mommy school. It won't be fun, but I guarantee he'll be better for it.
Then there is Bryson, my 10 year old. Smart as a whip but is passionate about CARTOONS and the Disney Channel. This boy has clocked more hours in front of the TV than I have reading my Bible. Since he is so smart, he does his homework in about twenty minutes. And his favorite reply is, "Mom, I read at school". And off to my bedroom where he has the full use of our master bedroom suite. He calls it his personal lounge. Well, I fooled him. With school in the second week, he went to the condensed version of Mommy School. I signed him up for the school's Afterschool Enrichment Program. I was never so glad as I was when I gave them my $150 registration fee and gladly paid for the month of September at $200 a pop!!! We'll he's running, jumping, sweating, doing his homework, reading and he gets home just in time for dinner. Then he has a short TV time and then he is off for a shower and bed time. (Well, I couldn't take it away completely. An hour or so of TV is a lot better than four hours of watching TV.) During the summer I started him reading "Black Boy" by Richard Wright. Since I read this in undergrad, I'm wasn't pressing him to read a 384 page novel during his summer vacation. Like I said, he's only ten. But he seems to be enjoying it and he is still waddling through Part I: Southern Night, as we journey into September. So when he has nothing to do or proclaims that he is bored, I direct him to the novel and he quickly finds something to do after about 30 minutes of reading. Mommy School...it is a wonderful thing.
Then there are my parents. I love them so much but they are my children as well. (At least, that is how I feel sometimes.) My father loves the fact that I have to wait on him hand and foot. My husband calls me "the new wife" since my Mom has relegated all of his demands to me. Of course, I just smile a lot and say "yes, Daddy". But I want to scream when he doesn't want to finish his meal or gets chewing gum on my new sofa. And when he gets it all over his pajamas (that now need to be thrown away) I just want to cry. Especially when he looks me dead in my eyes and swears that he didn't do it. He blames my mother. She is the one that got chewing gum on his pajamas. I worry about him getting enough nutrients. He doesn't have a good appetite anymore and we are buying Ensure by the case. But his days are filled with reading the newspaper and he is content watching the Price is Right and Wheel of Fortune. For a 91 year old, life has never been so good. My mom is precious. At 86, she wants to do things around the house and I have to put my foot down and say no (very respectfully, of course.) I was in a worried state because I was afraid that she had cancer. We have been going back and forth to the doctor for the past three weeks and praise be to God - no cancer. But like one doctor said, "you don't have a problem, Ms. Key, but you do have an issue." For now we will watch her and get her blood checked every two weeks. We're trying to get her to gain some weight. We have another doctor's visit tomorrow to check more into that. Malabsorption, they say. Maybe she is allergic to gluten. We don't know, but I worry and I pray.
As a minister I know that we are to "trust in the Lord with all our heart and lean not to our own understanding". But when it is your parents and it is your responsibility to take care of them, sometimes you can't help it. So each day, I make sure they are fed, clean, have had their meds and are enjoying a lot of sunshine and of course the CBS soaps and the game shows. My boys are wonderful and will graduate from Mommy School. And yes, they will grow up to be awesome men of God who have successful lives and bright futures. And yes, our marriage is wonderful and we enjoy working together and sharing in this thing called ministry.
Life is somewhat harried, but I'm learning how to deal with it with less pressure and better insight. I'm prioritizing and honing my organizational skills. I've learned what my limits are and now am not afraid to say "No" when I need to.
Yes, I am a bona fide member of the sandwich generation and learning from each bite of it.
My boys are back in school. I'm relieved but worried, because this is the season that I must really begin my serious training sessions for my 15 year old. (I'm way behind in this department). He's brilliant, but lazy and hates to read. Well, he's going to start "Mommy's School" since he never seems to have home work. I know that it will be a major transition for him. Both boys treat our home like a five star resort. They each have their favorite space and life is just wonderful. My fifteen year old is on the computer, wishing for his dream car. I've seen every model imaginable and I just have to sigh and smile. I don't know where he got the idea that we were going to buy him a $30,000-$40,000 luxury sports car. I know, I know. The Driver's Ed class was passed and now he's just waiting for Mommy to take him to the DMV. Then we have to get the car. I want to tell him so bad, "until we find you a nice used model, you'll be driving Mommy's minivan". He'll be heartbroken but he's got to learn that if he wants nice things he going to have to work for them. And working to me, is doing things around the house without being asked. Now that is going to be the struggle. We've decided to get him a small "hooptee". This is synonymous to a seven to ten year old car with about 45,000 miles on it. Like I said, he will be heartbroken but he will get over it. He's bargaining and bartering. "I'll work and get the down payment", he suggests. I just laugh. It's hard for him to vacuum without him justifying why he doesn't want to do it right now. "If you get me my car, then I will..." Well the list goes on and on. He'll do a lot of things for the car. And he wants to get a job where you actually have to work. (Does he think, I think he is going to actually do that ?) I just want him to do things because I have asked him to. You know, obedience and submission. Hence, Mommy school. It won't be fun, but I guarantee he'll be better for it.
Then there is Bryson, my 10 year old. Smart as a whip but is passionate about CARTOONS and the Disney Channel. This boy has clocked more hours in front of the TV than I have reading my Bible. Since he is so smart, he does his homework in about twenty minutes. And his favorite reply is, "Mom, I read at school". And off to my bedroom where he has the full use of our master bedroom suite. He calls it his personal lounge. Well, I fooled him. With school in the second week, he went to the condensed version of Mommy School. I signed him up for the school's Afterschool Enrichment Program. I was never so glad as I was when I gave them my $150 registration fee and gladly paid for the month of September at $200 a pop!!! We'll he's running, jumping, sweating, doing his homework, reading and he gets home just in time for dinner. Then he has a short TV time and then he is off for a shower and bed time. (Well, I couldn't take it away completely. An hour or so of TV is a lot better than four hours of watching TV.) During the summer I started him reading "Black Boy" by Richard Wright. Since I read this in undergrad, I'm wasn't pressing him to read a 384 page novel during his summer vacation. Like I said, he's only ten. But he seems to be enjoying it and he is still waddling through Part I: Southern Night, as we journey into September. So when he has nothing to do or proclaims that he is bored, I direct him to the novel and he quickly finds something to do after about 30 minutes of reading. Mommy School...it is a wonderful thing.
Then there are my parents. I love them so much but they are my children as well. (At least, that is how I feel sometimes.) My father loves the fact that I have to wait on him hand and foot. My husband calls me "the new wife" since my Mom has relegated all of his demands to me. Of course, I just smile a lot and say "yes, Daddy". But I want to scream when he doesn't want to finish his meal or gets chewing gum on my new sofa. And when he gets it all over his pajamas (that now need to be thrown away) I just want to cry. Especially when he looks me dead in my eyes and swears that he didn't do it. He blames my mother. She is the one that got chewing gum on his pajamas. I worry about him getting enough nutrients. He doesn't have a good appetite anymore and we are buying Ensure by the case. But his days are filled with reading the newspaper and he is content watching the Price is Right and Wheel of Fortune. For a 91 year old, life has never been so good. My mom is precious. At 86, she wants to do things around the house and I have to put my foot down and say no (very respectfully, of course.) I was in a worried state because I was afraid that she had cancer. We have been going back and forth to the doctor for the past three weeks and praise be to God - no cancer. But like one doctor said, "you don't have a problem, Ms. Key, but you do have an issue." For now we will watch her and get her blood checked every two weeks. We're trying to get her to gain some weight. We have another doctor's visit tomorrow to check more into that. Malabsorption, they say. Maybe she is allergic to gluten. We don't know, but I worry and I pray.
As a minister I know that we are to "trust in the Lord with all our heart and lean not to our own understanding". But when it is your parents and it is your responsibility to take care of them, sometimes you can't help it. So each day, I make sure they are fed, clean, have had their meds and are enjoying a lot of sunshine and of course the CBS soaps and the game shows. My boys are wonderful and will graduate from Mommy School. And yes, they will grow up to be awesome men of God who have successful lives and bright futures. And yes, our marriage is wonderful and we enjoy working together and sharing in this thing called ministry.
Life is somewhat harried, but I'm learning how to deal with it with less pressure and better insight. I'm prioritizing and honing my organizational skills. I've learned what my limits are and now am not afraid to say "No" when I need to.
Yes, I am a bona fide member of the sandwich generation and learning from each bite of it.
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